I was shot in the head two years ago. I was in prison for six years. I live in a Taliban hub. I need to be an amputee. I’m four. I’m six. I’m eight. I have a micropenis. I’ve had sex both with and without a foreskin. My sister and I are in love. I’m in love with my mother. I married and had a daughter with my first cousin. I love my dog. I have killed someone while driving drunk. I have superpowers from chemotherapy. I was in a cult for seven years. I own a woman. I used to be asexual (I am still asexual). I was in porn (and I’m still in porn). I took a boy’s virginity. I am killing myself in a few months.
I started the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I started Reddit.
I have a “state of deficiency in understanding, processing, or describing emotions”. I have Alice in Wonderland syndrome. I believe free will doesn’t exist.
I was driven gay. I am gay in a straight marriage. I was born a woman, became a man, and as a man, I’m gay.
I’m a pawnbroker, mortician, spammer, multimillionaire, working TV/film comedy writer, Freemason, actor’s assistant, beekeeper, drug dealer, Catholic priest, kleptomaniac, nudist, prosecutor, suicide hotline volunteer.
I’m a pathological liar. I might be making all this up.
Ask me anything.
- reddit.com/r/IAmA
